10.21.02
i hate fill in the blank mornings
I hate those fill in the blank mornings. I'm sitting on the floor in the concourse in Penn Station, NYC waiting for my train ride home. I'm trying to recall the events of last night but my head hurts and my hair is a mess. But as this is NYC, my messy hair goes unnoticed. I will concentrate on remembering, and writing. Otherwise I might just throw up.
I came into the city around 2pm and met Adam and Michele at Grammercy Park. There was a neighborhood dog party. There were Jack Rusell terriers wearing red wigs and leopard print capes. There was a bulldog wearing a cop uniform. There was a poodle mutt wearing a tux. I love the city.
The three of us walked off to do some shopping. I got a brown suede jacket at Leohmans. Afterward, Michele and I ate a big, fat lunch at a mexican restaurant. We were stuffed and ready to take a nap. but as we only had half an hour to sit, shit and get ready for DINNER at 5:00, we had no such luxury.
You see it was Girls Night Out and 12 of us were meeting for dinner and then off to see the Vagina Monologues. More about the show later...
Jen, Lisa, Takami, Caren, Courtney adn a bunch of Lisa's friends were all there. Dinner was fun. The food was ok, there was just so f'n much of it. And I was still burping up mexican food.
After dinner we went to the show. It was off-off Broadway in a tiny, intimate theater. It was being presented by three women: a black woman who looked like Alfie Woodard, a big, fat dyke who was loud, lovable and funny, and an older woman who looked like Ben Stiller's mom.
To say that I loved the show would be an understatement, but as my head is pounding right now, I don't have any other words.
Cunt, cooter, pussy...mother fucking vagina!
The stories were amazing, starteling, outrageous, shocking. It was wonderful. I left empowered. I could yell "CUNT" without flinching, and when we left the theater, I probably did.
After the show, we went to a club, CODA. Our party was in the basement, but first Caren, Jen and I went to use the bathroom. There were three doors in the small hallway. Caren and Jen opened the doors to the toilets and went inside. I opened the door to the broom closet and didn't. I laughed and watited on the bench.
I was sitting there by myself in the small hallway. Then for a moment I forgot where I was. I leaned on one hip, lifted my leg and let out a long, LOUD, mexican food fart! The sound vibrated on the wooden bench and echoed in the hallway.
*I'm still laughing as I write this!*
Finally realizing where I was, I quickly looked around to see if anyone was near me. Then I busted into an uncontrolable fit of laughter. I could hear Jen and Caren in their little toilet rooms asking me what was so funny. Then someone else came into the hallway waiting to use the can, so I had to tell them later.
We all went to the front of the club, joined up with the rest of the group and went downstairs.
It felt like wer were at a fraternity party. We were crunched in the corner of a small room with a bar. But it was open bar untill 11, so we weren't complaining. I got a glass of white wine.
We found an adjecent room, 'the vault' and took over a table in the corner. We had parked ourselves and weren't moving. It was Takimi, Courtney, Caren and me. I got another white wine.
We were chatting away about I don't know what. But I'm sure whatever it was, I was briliant, ponient and full of wit an wisdom. And white wine.
*Fuck. My stomach hurts!!*
Soon I didn't remember what we were talking about. Adam and Eddie showed up to meet us.
After the club, the 5 of us went out for pizza - or so I've been told.
"We're all retarted cuz we're all related". Again, I was told that this was my war cry as we sat eating pizza.
Apparantly, I drunk called Mike at 2 am. I have no idea what I said. I found out the next morning that I called him by checking my cell phone log. I woke up at Michele's apartment in the same clothes I went out in. I felt like crap - and I had to take one.
Michele and Adam got up and left early to do a diabates run. I left the apartemnt at 9:45 and took a cab to the train station.
As I was on the corner waiting for a cab to pick me up, I had a moment of clarity. I was thinking about these abstract things that all of a sudden made perfect sense to me. I wish I had my journal out to write them all down, but now I can't remember a thing that was going on in my head.
As soon as I got back to my parent's house in Jersey, my cell phone rang. I checked the caller ID and it was Mike. I laughed and answered the phone.
"So, how ya feeling?", I heard him laugh at me on the other end.
Ugh. If I embarassed myself, he doesn't remember because he was hammered, too. He thinks we just talked incoherently on the phone for about 15 minutes then got off. Or maybe he's just being polite because maybe I professed my love for him and my desire to tear his pants off. Who knows. But he says that as long as I had a good time, that's all that matters.
Mike was calling me from the parking lot of Giants Stadium. He was tailgating for the Jets game that afternoon and was now heading into the stadium.
I went to take a nap.
9:14 a.m.
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Reading
"Notes From A Small Island"
by Bill Bryson
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