10.05.02
perpetual motion
I started back at work this week, and I'm not sure how I feel about the subject.
On one hand I'm happy to have an agenda to my day. I wake up, shower, eat breakfast and drive 45 minutes to my job thats about 20 miles away. Then I sit at my desk and my attitude changes. I get into 'I don't Care' mode and go through the motions of shuffling papers across my desk. Occasionaly making the phone call or email that will transfer my responsibility to someone else on some project.
"Change careers", my friend skim tells me. She's right. I need to find something else where I can feel fulfilled at the end of the day. Or at least somewhat happy doing it. I've thought about going to school. Maybe to take a class or two in Creative Writing or Photography. Something artsy. That's what I should have done in the first place 11 years ago. Business degree - BAH!
But the hardest part for me is taking that first step. To commit to myself that I will make a change in my life. That I will remove myself from the safe and familiar and step into the unknown. Funny - I do it countless of other times. When I travel on my own to new neighborhoods or new continents. But when it comes down to me, myself and I, well I just freak. I think it's about the whole control thing.
8:29 a.m.
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Reading
"Notes From A Small Island"
by Bill Bryson
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